Milestones
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“Guess what?!”
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“I’m FIVE! Yup! Startin’ to feel my age…”
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“But still young (and silly) at heart…”
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“Oh, almost forgot, I am modeling a tie-appliqued shirt that I designed. All by myself. That skull-and-flame fabric is pretty cool.”
“So cool that I even had my mommy make a matching onesie for my baby brother.”
“Yeah. My mommy is pretty awesome (and nutty). She even made cool favors for my friends (lip smackers, flower head bands, sparkly heart bracelets, and golden-books pins for the girls; hand-drawn superhero t-shirts and funky monkey pins for the boys.)
“My daddy is awesome too. He paid for my very expensive party at Bounce-it-Out so I could eat pizza and cake on a cool inflatable throne and bounce all night with my friends, even after the party was officially over, to get our money’s worth!”
“I’m not the only one who’s reached a milestone. My 6-month-old brother Stephen recently started eating mushed-up food. And if you’re wondering why his mouth is so dirty… well, mommy says that feeding Stephen is like war: you’re constantly aiming for a wildly moving target. My mommy doesn’t have very good aim.”
“I know. Scary stuff. Don’t worry Stephen, in a few months, you’ll be able to eat dumplings and hamburgers. I think. Actually, I’m not sure if you’ll be big enough. I don’t think mommy knows either. She seems to be winging it with you, third time around…”
“Baby Stephen also has an interesting way of sitting… or rather, not sitting. He doesn’t like sitting. I don’t blame him. Sitting doesn’t really get you anywhere.”
“But what does get you somewhere is crawling! And baby Stephen is one smart cookie. He skipped over all that sitting nonsense and moved right into crawling. Since mommy is too lazy to take a video and upload it to You Tube, I’ll just put up a picture of my cool baby brother rockin’ some shades!”
“Far away, my god-sister R also reached a milestone. She finally learned how to poop in the potty! To congratulate on her fine achievement, I had daddy email her a picture of me pooping on the potty!”
“Actually, she asked for my picture. I think she likes me… per the conversation she had with her mommy the other day…”
R: Mommy, I poopied on the potty! I’m old now! I’m older than grandpa.
J: No, you’re not older than grandpa. If you were older than grandpa you’d be married and have kids.
R: I wanna marry Calvin!
J: Oh you wanna marry Calvin? Do you like Calvin?
R: Yeah, I like Calvin.
J: Why do you like Calvin?
R: Cuz Calvin’s mean.
J: Um, ok. Well Calvin’s not mean. Why do you wanna marry Calvin?
R: I wanna marry Calvin cuz he knows how to poopy on the potty. He learned how to do it. I learned too just like Calvin. Can I see a pic of Calvin pooping on the potty?
J: Uh Mommy doesn’t have a picture of Calvin pooping on the potty, but we can ask Auntie Jen if she’s willing to let you see one hahaha.
“Hehe. Last but not least, my mommy reached a milestone!… of sorts… she finished her very first quilt!”
“From up high, it looks like a gigantic potholder!”
“She was thrifty in using up a lot of scraps. She was also cheap, lazy, and scared of buying, sewing, and stippling batting so she used a piece of fleece-backed-jersey-knit leftover from something else. She was also too lazy (did I mention my mommy was lazy?) to cut her own binding so she cheated and used biased tape instead… and ended up coming one inch short… which explains the the little cover-up loop that makes the quilt look like a giant pot-holder. It’s okay though. A lot of baby blankies these days come with the loop so it can be attached to a stroller handle, hence, preventing the blankie from completely falling off the baby and onto the road… and yeah, my mommy only wished I could talk this well 
Just kidding! (says my mommy). Hoorah for speech therapy!”
“Preettty…”
“I think this blog has also reached a milestone… in terms of how much you had to scroll down to reach the end of this post…”
janet Says:
amy Says:
